Jackie Wells-Fauth
“If you know the extension of the person you wish to speak to, dial that now,” came the automated voice over the phone.
“I don’t know who I need to speak to, I just need a person,” I replied, still not getting that I was talking to a phone robot and one who didn’t really care about my problems.
“In a few words, state what you need from our facility,” was the next instruction.
“I NEED TO TALK TO A PERSON,” I don’t know why I was shouting; it was not so much because I was angry; just because somehow I thought the robo voice would respond better. I was nervous; give me a break.
“Please state, in a few words, what you wish to speak to our people about,” was the repeated instruction, and because even a robo voice knew they were dealing with the simple-minded, they went on, “For example, do you want to update an account, open a new account, have billing questions…”
“I want to talk to a person about my account,” I shouted; by now I was convinced that I was not going to be talking to a human being anytime soon.
“We apologize for any inconvenience, but there is no one who can assist you at this time,” the robo voice intoned without a hint of apology. “We recommend that you visit our website or call our 1-800 number.” The next thing I heard was dial tone.
This is not a new event. The advantage to living in a small town has always been that I could walk in the front door of the business and talk to real, live people who give every indication of being willing to help me with whatever the problem is. So I guess I’ve been spoiled.
Any business that must be done long distance—and that happens a lot—leaves us at the mercy of an automated phone system which doesn’t care if their bad attitude and limited responses make us mad.
As an older American, I am less than comfortable with the technological advances that spring up almost hourly around us. I have already stated that my children are much better at figuring out technology than I am, but this is of no concern to the companies who rely more and more on the robo voiced phone receptions which handle the high volume of calls. The older the American, the more likely that these phone experiences don’t go well.
The website visit for me is always just as useless as my conversation with the automated voice. “Click on the box at the left side of the screen for a list of options.” I followed these instructions. None of the options took me to a place where I could get information for my account.
“We have a different address than the one you gave,” is the message which comes up when I try to identify myself. This is a problem: I’ve only had one address for the last 30 years. That might explain everything—I’ve been living under a false identity at a false address, no wonder I can’t get a response to my problems!
In the end, I called the 1-800 number. After answering a long series of questions and responding to a special code that they sent and I repeated back to them, I finally got to speak to an ACTUAL PERSON! Judging by her voice, she was somewhere in the south, but when we finally got down to my problems, she was able to help me fix it. I was so thankful, I couldn’t tell her enough how grateful I was.
“Oh ma’am, you are so welcome,” she drawled with her honey voice. “Is there anything else I can do?”
“Yes, tell me how I can get a hold of someone at the branch of the office that is in my area. They keep hanging up on me,” I whined.
“Yes, ma’am. That’s the new automated phone system,” she explained. That much I already knew.
“When they ask what you want, just say, ‘Branch manager,’ and you will get a person in the most local office to you,” she went on to instruct me. We parted on very good terms.
Several days later, when another issue appeared, I was confident of myself. I now knew what to do. I called the most local number and waited while the robo voice greeted me and asked me to state in a few words what I wanted.
“Branch manager,” I enunciated proudly.
“We apologize for any inconvenience, but there is no one who can assist you at this time,” intoned the robo voice. My reply was highly emotional and slightly profane. But by then I was speaking to dial tone.
dropsinthewell 