Jackie Wells-Fauth
I have come to the conclusion that I am watching too much television. This is because along with the constant barrage of commercials about the latest miracle drug that will make you young again, I have become tired of what I like to call the “app” commercials.
“You no longer have to wait for payday, you can have up to $500 today!” promises the voice on the television. “Just type in a few words on this app and you, too, can be in debt forever!”
Okay, maybe they don’t say the last part, but they do make it pretty easy to get yourself in a pile of debt, especially if you can use their app!
Of course the next commercial will be one in which you can use an app to apply for help getting you out of your massive debt. As long as you have a “smart phone”, you can do just about anything.
We took a driving vacation the last two years and both times, we encountered parking lots which required you to use your cell phone to get into their app. You simply took a picture of a design on the billboard that looked like something on Star Trek. If you could make your phone do that, you got into an app which recorded your car license and payment option so that you could park in the parking lot. Gone are parking attendants; we now have an app!
It frequently worries me what will happen if our phones fail us. These things can do everything from get you on an airplane to paying bills, to shopping for just about anything. Frequently it’s hard to remember that their stated purpose is to call people. We are a long way from the machine hanging on the wall that did nothing more than ring and connect us with one other person! Phone lines went down occasionally in the old days and we just coped. Today, a loss of our phones would stop our lives cold.
As long as everything is being done with an app, I have a few suggestions for some apps that they should add. After all, there doesn’t seem to be much that these smart phones can’t do if they have the proper app.
I would like an app that would do the cooking at my house. I don’t even want it to clean up afterwards, I just want to be able to scan some code on the stove with my phone and have the meal appear, done with much more skill than I have. I would even be willing to add some of those videos from Youtube on how to fix the perfect meal.
Laundry is another thing I’d like to see an app for. Most washing machines today are computers anyway, why couldn’t we have an app that would not only load the washer and dryer, but would also decipher all of those options on the controls. An app would be able to talk to the machine and tell it what to do far better than I can anymore! I’m being told as I write this, that there is such an app—you can actually handle the laundry while you are enjoying an evening out—paid for by an app, of course!
I was grousing about paying my bills and keeping track of expenses the other day. “Why doesn’t anyone come up with an app for that?” I asked no one in particular, but the television answered.
“Are you tired of paying for things you don’t use? Do you want to cease the worry over late fees for bills you forget to pay?”
“Yes!” I answered, forgetting that the television can’t really hold a conversation with me. “That is exactly my problem. What can I do, that doesn’t involve me doing the actual work?”
“Just try our system,” the television continued. “It will keep track of all your bills, pay things on time and get rid of anything you don’t need.”
“Sounds a little mind-controlling, but I’m desperate. Who do I call?” I say, taking out paper and pencil to write down the number.
“Just use our app for paying bills and keeping track of your subscriptions. Never pay for a thing you don’t need again. Hold your phone up to the symbol on the corner of your television screen—you know, the one that looks like a Martian is trying to make contact– and you will have our app.”
I might have known. Another app I can get to make my life “easier”. Which makes me wonder: Is there an app out there to handle all of these apps? That’s the one I really need!
dropsinthewell 