Jackie Wells-Fauth
I am reminded this week of that old saying, “Sometimes I think I am smart enough to conquer the world, and other days I try to get out of the car without unhooking my seatbelt.”
Most of us, me included, would like to believe that we are at least of average intelligence. I can’t calculate the subversion of PI in my head or anything, but on most days, I can read a label or follow the weather report on television.
However, years ago, I stopped playing the board game known as Trivial Pursuit because I always felt stupid not being able to answer sports or science questions and even some of the history questions, which should have been easy for a history major like me, tripped me up because they were just too…well, too trivial! I don’t know when binoculars were invented, but I know it was before the Titanic; everyone knows the ship sank because they didn’t have theirs! That should count for partial points, right? It didn’t!
My confidence in my own intelligence isn’t so great that I could take the blows caused by not knowing which of the planets is the hottest (hint here: it’s NOT Mercury) or who owns the Miami Dolphins (No hint here.) So, I put the Trivial Pursuit at the back of the closet and felt better about myself—living in my little false world!
Then, this Christmas, along came Trivial Pursuit – History Channel version. Now I will admit that I only actually heard Trivial Pursuit “History” and all my old bias against Trivial Pursuit collapsed. I am a historian, let me show you how brilliant I am!
Except that Trivial Pursuit is Trivial Pursuit and after I nagged everyone to play, I discovered that it contained the history of Culture, People, Geography, Science and SPORTS. Oh lord, just shoot me now…into the rough…miles from the putting green. (See, I know sports!)
So, I heard questions like: ‘What play is West Side Story based on?’ or ‘Which famous painter founded Impressionism?” Easy questions for me…except these were the questions other people got. When my turn came around, I got questions like ‘What is the most common element in the earth’s atmosphere (kids, stay awake in science class, I beg you) or, ‘In what decade was the Rugby Football Union formed in London?’ (Hint, the answer is not ‘Who gives a damn?’)
I protested, I shouted, I cried, but the questions kept on coming. I got the Culture category right away because I knew that Anne Frank nicknamed her diary Kitty. From there on out, it was a sea of sports trivia and me figuratively trying to get out of the car without unhooking my seatbelt!
I am positive the game was rigged: my daughter and son-in-law are neither one a sports fan. What were their questions? ‘What is the center of a target called?’ (In frustration, I shouted out a suggestion, but it was rejected and I can’t print it here.)
‘What does the NBA stand for?’ (I could have answered that one, but my son-in-law beat me to it.)
Now it was my turn. The question? “What substance do sumo wrestlers spread in the ring during a match?” (It wasn’t baby oil, what do I know about sumo wrestling?) and the one I finally fell on the sword for? ‘In cricket, how many runs are scored if the ball is hit over the boundary without bouncing?’
“National Basketball Association!” I shrieked. They all looked so sorry for me. But not as sorry as I felt for me!
I have only three things to add: 1) If you really want to try Trivial Pursuit and you don’t mind dumpster diving; you can have my game. 2) I made up the subversion of PI thing—I don’t really think that’s real. And 3) When did crickets start playing ball????
dropsinthewell 