Jackie Wells-Fauth
I bet you think I’m going to give you tips on how not to be nervous in nerve-wracking situations, right? Well, you would be 100 percent wrong!
The only “art” I have when it comes to nervousness is how to make it so much worse! It doesn’t matter what I am nervous about, good or bad; I can always add to the drama.
If I’m going to the doctor, it’s a mad rush. I am always there early, bringing an entire backpack of self-care. Reading materials that I don’t read or maybe snacks—too much sugar might affect my blood pressure, so I’ll have chips with the satisfying crunch and lots of salt—which will affect my blood pressure. We can’t have that when my blood pressure is already going to be high.
So no self-care packet. I must do something to ease the tension, but what? I know, I’ll tell a few amusing jokes:
“These gowns are so chic; who is your designer?” Or perhaps:
“I prefer cold instruments because then I know I’m alive.” No? Maybe:
“Awww…only two shots; how disappointing. I have four limbs to stab, you know.”
Yeah, maybe no jokes.
Waiting for planes, trains, buses or taxis is also very nerve-wracking for me. Again, I arrive very early, so while anyone else at the station is trying to uncomfortably nap, I am busy rearranging all the luggage, adjusting everything and taking inventory. That way, I know right away all the things I remembered and I have more time to stress over the things I forgot. And there’s always that nervous uncertainty:
“Is that our plane? I don’t think that’s it; it should be bigger.”
Or, standing in the cold morning air on a street corner:
“They are not here yet and it’s only ten minutes to the set arrival time. Did I give them the right address? What if I said it wrong?”
And if all else fails, I can make a joke:
“Well, if they don’t get here, we can always walk; it’s only five miles to the airport.” (Upon reflection, this is not a very funny joke.)
If you’re wondering where this rumination on nervous anticipations is coming from, it’s because I am at a drama competition where all I can do is wait for the students to compete. That might be the worst nervousness of all. Nervous anticipation on behalf of others.
So, I do the other thing I do when I’m waiting and nervous: I write. It doesn’t always make sense, but I write. My other choices here are to go around and listen to the competition:
“Did I tell the students to do that move when they are presenting? Oh, I couldn’t have! Oh, now I can’t look!”
Or, I can spend the time waiting with the kids about to compete, sharing my nervousness all around:
“Straighten your tie, and make sure your shoes are knotted. You look nervous; you’re not nervous are you? I’m sure not nervous.”
I have had students specifically request that I go sit in a quiet corner somewhere and breathe deeply.
“Okay, I’ll do that. Or, better still, I could tell a joke. I’ve got a million of them!”
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