If you bruise your foot, you’re gonna want to clean the fridge…

I’m not feeling too well as I write my post tonight.  I don’t feel sick or anything, I just kind of ache all over and in addition, I Have a nasty looking bruise on the top of my foot that is turning from greenish blue to black and blue.

I actually blame my random craving for chocolate ice cream for the whole mess.  If I hadn’t wanted chocolate ice cream, I wouldn’t have had to find a spot for the carton on the freezer.  My freezer is…well, it’s…okay, it’s a mess and full of things that are not only expendable, but also unidentifiable.

I bought a carton of ice cream, brought it home and tried to cram it in my over full refrigerator freezer.  It wouldn’t fit on the shelves, but there was the door shelf left.  Of course, because my refrigerator freezer is always overstuffed, I have broken off the bar that holds things on the door shelf, but if I put the ice cream on the shelf and then opened the door very carefully, it would be ok, right?

Not right.  You know what happened.  I whipped open the freezer door and an entire carton of frozen ice cream landed on the top of my foot.  After hoping around the kitchen, screaming and otherwise having a minor fit, I decided it was time to clean the freezer.  Half an hour later, my garbage can was full of tin-foiled-wrapped mystery objects and my fingers had a bit of freezer burn.  The good news was that my freezer was clean enough for me to fit my ice cream without making it a heat-seeking missile every time I opened the door.

While nursing my foot and trying to warm up my fingers, I noticed that the refrigerator now looked messy compared to the freezer, so I decided to clean it.  Another full garbage bag later, I had the refrigerator looking good and a finder that I had rammed into a drawer track and it was looking rather damaged.House-Cleaning

Once that was done, it only made sense to scrub the outside of the refrigerator, so it looked as good as the inside.  That cost me a bit of hair and a twisted neck when I caught my hair on the coils on the back of the refrigerator.

While I was taking aspirin for the headache that ensued, I noticed the glasses cupboard was pretty messy.  I added to my headache by banging my head on the shelf as I was cleaning the cupboard door.  That led to dropping a glass and breaking it in to the sink.  I wiped out the sink, and you guessed it, cut myself.

Finally, I limped into the living room, put bandages on my wounds and propped up my poor bruised foot.  BAND-AIDI am forced to face the awful fact that chocolate ice cream may be bad for my health – or at least my foot.  I have also decided that cleaning is too hazardous for me now, and I’ll just have to live in a dirty house for my own safety.  Come to think of it, that part is not so bad!

© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humorous Column

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s