We pause for this commercial break

It’s a well known fact that I have little respect for the commercials that come on television these days. The fact that we get so many of them as compared to the amount of television programming we get doesn’t help the situation. While I realize that it is difficult to develop an advertising campaign that pleases everyone, I have to question how many people are pleased with what they are seeing today. I’m not sure my husband was as aware of this fact as I was until the other night when we decided to watch a program together.

Now the program we wanted to watch was an old movie on a cable station, so it had to be figured that they were going to cut out some portions of the movie in order to fit in a few more commercials. As it turned out, the most entertainment we got was complaining about the commercials.

“I really like the movie that we’re watching,” my husband said, “but there do seem to be a lot of commercials and a lot of the movie is being lost.”

“Oh I know what you’re talking about,” I responded, “and I have to say the quality of some of the commercials don’t make it worth the cuts.”

We spent the next few minutes eating popcorn, quoting our favorite lines from the movie, and grinding our teeth over commercials which offered you everything from food delivered to your door to elaborate weight loss programs and exercise equipment. It seemed a little counterproductive, but it didn’t make us enjoy our popcorn any less.

“Okay, I think my least favorite so far has been the musical that the pharmaceutical company puts on to sell its pills,” I said, after having watched this commercial for the thirteenth time.

“Well at least there’s a catchy tune that goes along with that one,” my husband responded. “The one that’s beginning to freak me out is the one with the little blue box that walks along and talks to you and tries to convince you to take a dump in it. That one’s just wrong.”

“It’s all for the sake of medical improvement,” I was trying to be fair. “Wait until you see the one with the little bladder. It takes you by the hand and leads you to the bathroom. I have to admit if my bladder ever shows up and tries to lead me to the bathroom, I’ll probably have to have something for a heart attack.”

At that moment the movie started up again so we had some comfortable time watching that romance develop on stage. It was the perfect movie; I enjoyed the romance, my husband enjoyed the action. Unfortunately, it was necessary for them to pause for the station identification. That means 10 commercials in a row, most selling or offering nothing that I want to buy or take.

“I’ve given it a great deal of serious thought, and I think that if someone shows up in bed between us trying to sell us higher quality furnishings, I’m gonna call the police, I don’t care if they are a celebrity,” was my husband’s next observation.

“Oh I would agree, but even that is not as disturbing as finding a little green lizard or large ostrich and his weird friend appearing before me trying to sell me insurance,” I decided. “When I see those commercials, all I want insurance for is to make sure that none of them show up at my house.”

“I have to say I really like the candy commercials, except the one where they’re trying to convince us that one side of the candy bar is different than the other. I know they’re just trying to get my attention, but it gives me the impression they don’t think much of my intelligence.”

“Well, the movie is nearly over,” my husband said. “Hopefully, we won’t have to watch anymore commercials for cars we can’t afford, exercise systems we would never use, or kitchen utensils intended for a professional chef.”

I didn’t mention it, but I thought in my own head I wouldn’t mind those commercials, but if I have to inspect the bear’s behind one more time to be certain that his toilet paper got it clean, I may stop watching television altogether! I hope you all enjoy your summer programming.


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