Tag Archives: messy house

No pictures, please; One week to fixing it

My back spare bedroom has the door closed and it is difficult to get open. It’s full of boxes and bags and stacks of stuff I have been putting back there “until I have time to do something with them.” Of course, the school year has proceeded and I haven’t fixed it yet.

My living room is covered in a fine layer of dust that hasn’t been lifted since Easter. I have it on my list of things to do, but to be honest, it will be last thing on the list because I have written the list in the dust on my library table in the living room. Wouldn’t want to wreck that.

I have three piles of laundry lying in different places—in a chair in my bedroom, on the spare bedroom bed and in a basket on the couch. It looks terrible and everything is getting wadded up and wrinkled, but I’ll get it all fixed. In another week, everything will get done.

My cupboard is bare and my sink is full. I read this week that there’s a new app on the phone that will allow you to check inside your refrigerator while you are at the store, just to see what you need. That sounds ridiculous. I don’t want to look inside my refrigerator when I’m in the kitchen; I sure don’t want to see it when I’m out in public! But even that will be fixed in another week.

You may ask, why am I waiting a week? Well, because this mess in my house has been building up for the last nine months and next week school is out for the summer. At that point, I will no longer have stacks of correcting to do, tons of lesson plans to make out or any of the four thousand other things teachers get to do when “school is over” for the day. It’s never over at 3 o’clock for a teacher, and it’s seldom over at 10 p.m.

I will have fun with my summer. I won’t get at the housework right away, of course. The first week I’ll just sit on the back deck with a pot of tea and stare into space. I won’t be looking at anything in particular and I might chuckle every once in a while, but no one should worry about that.

I’ll get the dishes and the laundry and the dusting caught up gradually as the summer progresses, but the refrigerator and the bathroom will probably be put off for last. I have thought many times about getting a cleaning lady to come in once a week, but I always end up rejecting the idea. I don’t have the time to clean the bathroom and the refrigerator once a week before she came in, because I sure wouldn’t be letting any cleaning people see those two things as they are. They’d call the health department.

So, things pile up. I have a stack of letters, invitations, appointment cards, junk mail, ect., that I just leave on the desk. I sort out the important stuff, but when I’m done with anything, I add it to the pile. In another week, I’ll get around to shredding, discarding or scrapbooking the things in the pile that need it, but for right now, that stack just keeps getting higher. It’s the dog’s go-to spot when she’s looking for something to rip up, but she can’t read, so she always ends up shredding the things I wanted to keep.

And that brings me to the stairwell—the site of her shredding escapades. The steps are so full of bits of paper and cardboard that I’ve forgotten what color the carpet is. It’s strewn with half-destroyed toys and shreds of her latest kennel bed. In another week, I’ll get around to clearing it away, but for now, it’s just going to have to continue to look like a tornado site.

There will be no pictures to go with this blog, so you’ll have to take my word for it, but my house looks pretty bad. Any picture I could take, you just wouldn’t want to see. But it’ll all be fixed. Final bell for the year rings in a week!

© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Visitors – My reason for cleaning!

I read a poster on Facebook yesterday (well, actually, my daughter sent it to me) which said: My housekeeping schedule—Do the absolute minimum until someone is coming over, then clean like a crazy person.

I’m sure this was meant to be funny, but seriously, who doesn’t do this? Am I actually going to dust that back corner of the basement unless I have a serviceman who needs to check the furnace? I know there are people who regularly clean their woodwork and scrub their floors, I am just not one of those people.images

What I clean is dependent on who is coming. If it is a guest stopping through on the way to or from somewhere else, then the bathroom must be cleaned. Not necessarily the shower, I’m not going crazy; just the toilet and the sink and if time permits, I might even clean the mirror.

If someone is coming to look at the dishwasher, then it seems necessary to scrape the grime off the outside of it and maybe even clean the floor—you never know when something sticky might be there. The same is true of the stove and the refrigerator, but if I have to clean the oven in a hurry, then I’m going to need the shop vac.

When my parents come, that’s a bathroom, dining room, even living room going over. I frequently employ the laundry basket ploy here. I run around scooping things off of every surface into a laundry basket and shove it in a closet. You must realize that this may result in your address book ending up in the bowl you used to eat sticky melon last night, but it’s all in the cause of making the house look “kinda” clean.

I’ve even taken essence of clean advice from other people in regards to smell. If your house isn’t clean and you don’t have time or Febreze, pour a little cleaner in the corners. It does work but it’s messy. Someone else advised me to mask the smells by baking some cookies before the visitors come. If I have the energy to bake cookies, wouldn’t I have the energy to clean? I can’t take this kind of advice from someone who clearly doesn’t understand my cleaning philosophy.

I found out recently that I have passed these skills on to my daughter. We were sitting around my house both knowing we had things we needed to do, but luxuriating in the mess instead. Then, our expected company called to say they would be unexpectedly early and we both leapt to our feet. As I attempted to scrape the grime off the kitchen counters and straighten the bedding in the bedroom, my daughter managed to single-handedly remove the large living room rug from under two heavy chairs and the sofa and resign it to the outdoor deck in order to improve the look of the floors. House—semi-clean!images (1)

So, if you want to visit my house, thank you in advance. If you have small children, I’ll sweep the floor and if you’re coming for a meal, I’ll wipe off the stove and the refrigerator. If you crave a cooler place to sit on a hot day, I’ll even take a shovel to the basement. Cleaning like a crazy person before the company arrives is the only way to clean in my book!

© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Filed under Humorous Column