Tag Archives: nutrition

Eating My Way to Health

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Jackie Wells-Fauth

Before I begin today, I should probably mention that I understand and appreciate the benefits of good health. I also know that human health depends on several things: 1) genetics, and mine are pretty good; 2) attitude, which can sometimes not be as beneficial as it should be; and 3) eating habits.

I’m well aware that many of my health issues come from what I put in my mouth and also, how much of it I put in there. It isn’t that I don’t try. It’s true, there are times when more Hostess Twinkies are consumed in this house than any fresh fruit. But then, there are times when I really try and I really want my health to be good.

In that frame of mind, I did some research. Now, I did this research on the internet, so everything I tell you here should be taken with a grain of salt (which I understand is also bad for you). The internet does not have a degree in nutrition, so proceed with caution. I did find some of the ideas interesting, however.

For instance, it is apparently a myth that you must cut out certain foods in order to lose weight. What a relief! I have heard of the keto diet, the Mediterranean diet and the lo-carb diet. All of them are rejected by me because of one word: diet. I haven’t been able to remain on an eating diet for more than the time it takes me to discover that there is a stray Tootsie Roll stuck in the couch cushions. Diets do not work for me, so I’m glad to hear someone agrees with me—even if it is the internet. The only food I have ever successfully cut out of my diet is liver—and that is an action I do not regret!

Apparently, in the healthy eating world, you should not snack between meals. I am here to tell you that the only reason I get up every morning is in anticipation of whatever snacks I have lined up for the day. Meals, fine, but what have you got for those long hours in between?

When they get into types of food, it always upsets me, because they usually attack my favorites to begin with. I switched from regular soda to diet, only to discover that what diet lacks in calories, it makes up for in other undesirable things. So, I switched to fruit juice. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wrong. Fruit juice is apparently, in many ways, worse than soda. They suggest sparkling water as a lovely alternative. I have tasted sparkling water, and I would just as soon dip my glass in the toilet, which is also probably not very healthy!

It is important not to eat too much processed food. I did some looking to see what counted as processed food. My biggest heartbreak there was peanut butter! Who knew that the most delicious bread spread in the world is considered a processed food! I just can’t believe they got that right. Another processed food they warned against was frozen pizzas and TV dinners. When I read that, I felt terrible, because I love those and they are so easy. Thank heavens they didn’t mention pot pies; I guess I can still have those, huh?

There were a couple of pieces of good news. They debunked the idea that sushi is diet food. For me, sushi definitely IS a diet food because I’d rather go without food than eat it!

The other piece of good news had to do with lettuce salad. Now, I eat lettuce salad when I am trying to be good, but I can never say I enjoy it. Imagine my surprise, then, to hear that the dressings that are put on lettuce salad have more calories than a doughnut! You know what this means, of course. If I’m eating the same calories anyway, I’m definitely eating the doughnut! I just didn’t know that it would be considered healthier than lettuce salad! Yay!

I was excited to see that late night snacks are permitted because that is my favorite. I was not so excited to see their suggestions for a late-night snack: yogurt or pistachios. That’s a hard no on yogurt and as for pistachios, they aren’t bad, but they aren’t going to hold me over until morning! I need a hearty late-night snack, like a bologna sandwich—or wait, I know! Peanut butter! No, that’s not right…maybe a diet soda or…

I put the computer away and got up to leave the room. “Where are you going?” Roy asked.

“Downstairs to find my Twinkie stash. This healthy eating is gonna kill me.”

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Blender Wars

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Jackie Wells-Fauth

I’d like to say a few words about my blender. Unfortunately, none of the words I want to use would be printed in the paper. And to top it all off, I have once again declared war on an appliance…and I’m not winning!

I really blame it on the smoothies. I got the brilliant idea to start having smoothies for breakfast and everything since then has been downhill…on a very smooth track!

It sounds wonderful, right? A morning meal that is entirely fruit and protein powders combined into one delicious drink. I bought a small single blender, I piled all the fruit in: strawberries, bananas, peaches, protein powder and oh, a little bit of milk. I turned it on and waited for the magic. There was no magic. The blender hummed, but the fruit did not puree into a delicious liquid. It just sat in the blender laughing at me.

“This blender doesn’t work,” I grumbled.

“Did you do it right? What do the directions say?” Roy was being practical, which is so annoying.

“I don’t need directions to operate a blender, thank you very much,” I said with confidence. And waited until he was gone to dig the directions out of the garbage. Turns out, you have to put the liquid in FIRST, then soft fruit, then frozen fruit. Oh!!! Once I had properly stacked the smoothie, it worked beautifully. For a while.

“I don’t think this blender is working too well anymore,” I complained one day.

“What makes you say that?” Roy was not paying much attention; my complaints about appliances are somewhat repetitive and pointless.

“Because it started smoking this morning and there are chunks in it the size of frozen strawberries,” I said, spitting out a half-chopped specimen.

“Get a better blender, that one’s too small and cheap,” he advised.

Great idea. I went out and bought the fanciest one I could find. It was very powerful, but it took a distressing amount of time to chop everything up and make the smoothie. I didn’t understand it.

“Possibly, you shouldn’t put in a half a bag of strawberries. That might be overloading it,” Roy said, looking at the array of fruit I was trying to cram in the blender.

“Are you implying that I am a fruit pig?” I asked in a tone of voice which told Roy there was no safe way to answer.

“Oh, no, that looks like a reasonable amount,” he answered, his voice and face carefully blank. Fortunately for him, the blender was not functioning very well because of all the fruit I put in it, or I might have tried to puree his tongue!

That brings us to blender number three. All the past blenders have worked so slowly that it was never necessary to put on the lid. That way, I can add fruit and watch the progress. And occasionally flirt with disaster by pushing an errant piece of fruit down into the blades with a knife.

The new blender recommended a larger amount of milk than I have been using. Okay, do whatever they say; anything to get a smoothie. It started off well. The milk and the bananas and the protein powder had no problem. It slowed down and complained a little when I started adding frozen fruit, but it still continued to grind. It was as I was adding the honey and the final fruit that it happened. I looked down into the blender and with a sudden surge, it pasted my face with about half of the smoothie.

“Why in the world have you got smoothie on your face?” Roy asked, coming into the room.

“Because this blender and I are at war,” I answered, “and I have not yet begun to fight!”

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