Tag Archives: Vikings

Skol Vikings!  Let’s Lose the Beer!

I love a good road trip. And a road trip so Roy can watch the Vikings play in their brand-new stadium? Why not? It would be fun!

Our road trip required that we get to the Minneapolis area the night before, so we’d have plenty of time at the stadium. So, we got pretty much the last motel room in Chaska on the outskirts of the city. We got our key and checked out our room…and sat down on the bed…and lifted the covers to check out the slab of marble that had to be what it was made of, it was so hard.

A quick visit with the desk clerk wasn’t helpful:

Me: Could we get a room with a mattress and a box springs instead of two box springs?

Clerk: Are you trying to infer that the bed is hard?

Me: No, I’m saying right out that this bed is so hard, Goldilocks would have sued for back injuries!

Clerk: If you are dissatisfied, you are welcome to vacate the room.

Of course, he knew that every hotel in the area (including his by that time) was sporting a no vacancy sign. There was no help for it…we had no choice but to stay with a bed that had all the comfort of a metal table in a morgue. About five o’clock a.m., after tossing and turning for a while, I finally decided to sit up in the overstuffed chair in the room. It was apparently overbalanced as well, and I immediately went over backwards in the chair, hitting my head on the wall with the required swear words along with it. Roy sat straight up in the bed, hollering, “What the …..” He wasn’t too upset however, or he was just too asleep to react, because while I struggled to get out of the overturned chair, he fell back asleep!

I left the hotel, bent over from a serious “bed-back,” and headed out to the game, fortified with a great breakfast consisting of a banana! We got to downtown Minneapolis and then searched for a place to park. The closer the parking space was to the stadium, the more it cost, so we finally found a parking lot charging only $15, compared to $25 or $30 by those with geographic advantage. Our lower price parking was offset by the fact that we walked for half an hour to get to the stadium.

But what a stadium! It was amazing with the huge doors standing wide and music playing and souvenirs being hawked. As we headed inside, I was thrilled to see that at 9:30 a.m., the hawkers were standing in the entrances to the stadium trying their best to sell the people coming in some beer. Even more disturbing is that they were succeeding.

Now I don’t mind if a person wants to enjoy a beer, but at 9:30 in the morning? Really? And of course, the person who was buying and consuming the most ended up right behind me…as usual. He courted disaster by taunting fans from the other team with comments about their looks and actions. He screamed so loud in my ears that I am still not hearing entirely right, but I know I’ll hear him yelling, “Come on, ref, throw a “f……” flag once willya?”

He was pretty well greased when he got to his seat, but he continued to buy beers from the vendors coming around. They came around with beer three times as often as any other (non-intoxicating) refreshment. I know the beer was cold because what he missed guzzling down, he spilled on my arms and neck and spit on me as he was screaming at the game. After he left permanently in the fourth quarter, I discovered that my coat pocket (with my camera in it) had been soaked at some point with beer as well, no doubt courtesy of my inebriated friend.

It really was a very nice road trip, and a great game in spite of hard beds and too much beer. Fortunately, my camera survived its alcoholic sponge bath, but I have to ask the venders at US Bank Stadium if maybe, in the future they could sell hotdogs, soda and water and maybe some peanuts and just lose the beer?

© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humorous Column

Confessions of a secret Vikings watcher…

My mother raised me right…honestly she did. She taught me that football was a rough game and better left to men to play and watch. For many years, I never had a problem. My father watched the Vikings through thick and through thin, but I always managed to maintain an aloof attitude against the players in purple.

Then I married a man who was an even bigger Vikings nut than my father. It matters little or nothing how the game goes, Roy sets up a row that can be heard through windows and down the block. If they are winning, he is cheering and crowing and if they are losing, he screams so loud that his hunting dogs run for cover.

Needless to say, Sundays in the fall are not designated for a peaceful afternoon nap. Nor is it possible to do any housework which requires noise. My only option, then, is to sit in a chair and wait for the football deluge to be over. On the good days, when they win, it becomes a cheerful evening.

But there are not enough of the winning days. The Vikings, while a tough team, of course, have a tendency to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. When they do that, life is sad at our house. We discuss and review and rant about every play. We go over and over the points where they messed up the most and any other topic is not interesting enough to divert the mood.

So, over the years, gradually, I have found myself watching the game, hoping against hope that Bridgewater connects with Peterson and the blocking is good and they make the scores. Walsh has been having a sketchy year with those field goals and extra points and several players, whose names I can’t keep straight, have the following issues, “butter fingers, blind eyes, and numb brains.” Sacking the quarterback is good when the Vikings do it and not when the Vikings have it done to them.

I now know far more about football than I ever intended to. I don’t laugh at the jokes any more, “I’m having the Vikings as my pallbearers so they can let me down one more time,” or “Why do the Vikings wear purple? You’d be purple too if you always choked.” I know the names of many of the players and I even know the coach is Mike Zimmer.

The Secret Vikings fan at a game in the old Metro Dome

The Secret Vikings fan at a game in the old Metro Dome

All of this was still on the fringe of my consciousness until today. Today, the Vikings were head to head with the Chicago team (I believe they are the Bears) when a pass from Bridgewater hit a player far down field right at the close of the game.

I jumped up and shouted, “They got it! It’s close enough for a field goal to win the game. Now Walsh had better hit it!” I immediately slapped a hand over my mouth and looked around. Roy, who can yell pretty loud, had been outshouted and was a little stunned. The dog was hiding behind the chairs. My book and my sewing, both of which I had been trying to do, went skittering from my lap across the floor when I jumped up.

So I guess there’s no more hiding it. Apparently, I have fallen into or been sucked into the trap of cheering for a football team and of all the teams, I had to cheer for the Vikings. I thought friends didn’t let friends become Vikings fans. Is there a support group for this?

© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humorous Column