The Secret Lives of Deadbeats…

I love that new animated movie “The Secret Lives of Pets.” I wanted to see it so desperately that I made my husband take me…without any kids for cover. He wanted to rent a couple of fresh faced kiddos to make it look like we weren’t just going to that movie ourselves, but I made him go without an age escort.

It may have been an error, though. Because now I think he’s beginning to wonder what I do all day long on my summer break. He leaves the house for work each day just like the owners of the pets in the movies and then the pets get into all kinds of trouble all day instead of accomplishing anything.

Since we went to the movie, he’s been questioning me rather closely on my activities during the day. Now, this is bad, because not all of my activities in a day could be termed as “useful.”

He went to work one morning, inviting me to have a good day and adding, “There are some clothes that need washing and a couple of things to be straightened up in the family room. I presume you’re getting up now?”

“You bet,” I say, rolling over and burying my face in the pillow on the bed. “Anytime now.”

He has no choice but to leave it at that…after all, he can’t be late for work. But I know the inquisition as to what I have been doing will come when he gets home. I must in some fashion be ready for that.

That night, sure enough, the first thing he did when he came in the door was to ask, “Did you get those clothes washed?”

“Well, I started to, but I was interrupted and never got back to it,” I answered reluctantly.

“What interrupted you?”

“Well, I sat down for a few minutes and went to sleep,” I told him, “but I was just so tired from all the cleaning I did.”

“Oh, you did some cleaning?” he said, sounding more impressed.

“Yes, I cleaned the floor,” I said. “It was all sticky from the pop I spilled.”

“How did you spill pop on the floor?” he was suspicious again.

“I spilled it while chasing the dog,” I tried to explain.

“And why were you chasing the dog?”

“Because I had taken out my partial and when I looked down at her, she was wearing it in her teeth,” I answered. “And of course, after I cleaned the floor, it was necessary to spend a couple of hours sterilizing my partial.”

“So after that, you couldn’t get back to the laundry?”

“Absolutely, that’s just what I intended to do,” I hesitated.


“Well, I was kind of tired after chasing the dog and cleaning the floor, so….”

“So you took another nap,” he shook his head as he walked away.

Now he’s a bigger believer in the secret life of deadbeats than ever before. And I’m so tired from trying to convince him otherwise, that I need another nap!


© Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In the Well, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Wells-Fauth and Drops In The Well with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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