Space, the final frontier…

Sometimes, you just have to own who you are. You have to admit that you actually enjoy the creamy middle of an Oreo or that you really do laugh at the Flintstones–when secretly watching them–while eating the middles-only out of a bunch of Oreos.

But for me, this is nowhere near my biggest quirk. In fact my quirk, rhymes with quirk–because I have an on-going love affair with Captain Kirk and all things Star Trek! It started with Kirk and the Enterprise on its five-year mission, graduated to Picard and the Next Generation, moved on to Sisko at Deep Space Nine and got flung into the Delta quadrant with Janeway on Voyager. Then, I came home to Captain Archer and the first Enterprise.

Unless you are a giant Star Trek nerd like me, the previous paragraph will make no sense. Suffice it to say that I am addicted to anything which begins, “Space, the final frontier….” If it has to do with Star Trek, I am there for it.

My obsession is very well-known, in particular by my children. They are never at a loss as to what to give me as gift: “Does it have Star Trek on it somewhere? Great, my Mom will love it!” They have given me a wide variety of Star Trek merchandize over the years, and so for this article, I tried to collect and take a picture of all of the Star Trek things they have gifted me, which you see above. You should know that this is not even all of the things I have received, it is just the ones I collected over five minutes of walking through the house.

This collection of Star Trek memorabilia tells you several things about the quirky individual who is me. First, you should know that while I care nothing for mechanics of any kind, I have a schematic of the Star Ship Enterprise hanging prominently on my wall. Second, I have a set of Pez dispensers featuring the heads of the crew of the Next Generation, which has never been opened, even though my grandchildren have suggested it any number of times. Third, I once owned three pairs of Star Trek socks, but because the dog particularly liked the taste of them, I am now down to half that number–one sock from each pair, of course.

Each Christmas, I proudly hang the Federation Star Ship Voyager on my tree and when I am bored at night, I sit down and read my Star Trek book which details the original series, episode by episode and then I watch those episodes on my digitally enhanced set of CDs. I have collections of snow globes and mugs and I have Star Trek features for each of those collections.

My daughter gave me a Star Trek coffee mug for my Mother’s Day present this year, but her instructions were, “Make sure you use it!” How could I possibly do that? It shows the Star Trek crew in relative safety on their ship, but if I fill the cup with hot coffee, they are immediately transported to a strange and alien world. I can’t do that, can I? Besides, the people who made the cup are pretty sure we are none too bright, because on the outside bottom of the cup, it says, “Best results if used from the other end.”

However, since I try to be a good parent, I decided I should use the cup just to suit her. So, I made my morning coffee, poured it in the recommended end and watched the Star Trek crew go where no one has gone before. I then tasted the coffee–and immediately spit it out. The new mug, which was properly washed, made the coffee taste like I’d strained it through the Captain’s communication devise! Plastic or metallic or something!

It’s just as I thought, the cup is meant to be admired, placed in my collection and valued for its Star Trek connection. So, if you don’t mind, I believe I will place it on the shelf along with my genuine Star Trek cold mug and my very lovely lap throw, featuring Spock saying, “Fascinating.”

So now, you know the secrets of my very fine quirk. I do hope my children continue to gift me with memorabilia from all of the Star Trek programs and when we, as a culture, finally do “boldly go where no one has gone before”…well, I’ll be watching from home, surrounded by my space things!

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